Impediment

Dear diary,

I am glad you are still around so I can pen my thoughts without anybody asking about it or second guessing. Zengwei and I are having this impediment in our relationship. I have asked to take a break. That was a week ago. I think I have taken huge steps to try to reconcile. Though not obvious and explicit... Perhaps that is why he could not get the hint. I think I know what he is thinking about. As long as I do not talk about the 'break', he will not risk talking about it. So in a way, he is just waiting for me to make a move. Sometimes I wished he would make a move and show me how much he wants this relationship and how much he wants to resolve our issues. I know we have talked about our issues barely a month ago... But yes here we are again, angry or disappointed with each other over the same issue. Today I went over, hoping he would ask me to stay for dinner? I stayed around for about an hour and we did not speak at all. Was I supposed to start talking to him? I already went over on the pretext of leaving the Yankee candle with him. Did he not get the hint? In addition, I had wanted to ask for lunch with him but he merely replied that he had bought lunch. I think if it was in the past, he would have jumped at the chance to have a meal with me so maybe we can reconcile our differences... I guess it is different now. Sometimes I wonder if I had made him become the way he is now. So angry and short-tempered... I am really confused. On one hand, he sent me flowers for our anniversary and also walked me to the train station earlier this evening, on the other, he is still aloof? His messages are worse. So much so I have decided to be aloof, might as well. I am not sure when all these will end. I hope tomorrow after MPC, he will at least suggest a lunch, else I really would not know what to do. Thank you diary for giving me this avenue to pen my thoughts. Now, I shall go back to my EPMS. I hope to get it done by tonight... One huge thing off my long list of things to be done.

Love,
Audrey